I flew on a magic carpet
with sparkling tassels
I ran my fingers through them
and believed my future was made of moonlight
I thought myself finding success would emulate a baby turtle finding the ocean
So vast, that even if I crawled diagonally,
as long as I kept moving forward, I'd make it eventually
but eventually is longer than I expected
and responsibility cracks like a desert underneath me
Bright lights are overwhelming
and I'm afraid I'm moving in the wrong direction
The floating carpet on which I once felt so mighty
is now sand covered and thin, and barely keeps me warm at night
I cry in the dark
and I wish I would have paid more attention to driftwood,
when it washed up next to me
Perhaps, I could have used it to make a home
but I let it drift away, so sure I didn't need it
Now I'm on an empty beach and I've never felt so alone
I hear distant laughter in the water
while I'm frozen on the sand
talking to hollow shells
spiraling
over cigarettes
and french fries
under metal detectors that look like UFO's
I miss what I thought was a solid foundation of wind that carried me here
and I'm tempted to let it carry me far away if it returns
but in the air, I would still feel broken and have all the same problems and fears
I'd still long for the ocean
and yearn to sink into wet sand, like birthday candles in a cake
and believe in myself once again
this time with the deepest sincerity and understanding
that it takes time
to find the ocean.
